all backwards now, isn't it?
by ninobabyyyy
Summary: Is Sirius really dead? can Harry levitate frogs and does Fred have a thing for Petunia Dursley? all these questions will be answered later on. This is mostdefinately NOT a parody! Call it a general non perody funny story, pleaseandthankyou. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer : I wish I owned these characters, but let's face it, that will never ever happen. Nice to dream nevertheless…

By the power invested in my keyboard, I now pronounce Sirius Black……..NOT DEAD! ( I know, I know, all the screaming females may send me thank-you money. hehehe)But it's not for sure. maybe he won't come back. let's see where this goes.

ANYWAYS, this story takes up where the 5th book left off….at the Dursley's. Oh, and don't forget to read this in a really really English accent…especially during the more funny parts. yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. enjoy!

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_"AVADA KEDAVRA!"_

_The words had barely left her lips when Harry saw his godfather sway, then gracefully slip into the midnight veil. At first he did not believe that this was the end of Sirius Black, but then the meaning of Bellatrix's curse suddenly came into clear focus. She had used one of the unforgivable hexes, and this one meant death. _

_What came next, was to his mind, a blur of dyer struggle and agony. He did not remember anything in the world aside from the need to reach Bellatrix._

_"I'LL KILL HER!!" He screamed. Harry felt he would explode if Lupin didn't let go of him. Didn't he see what she had just done? Lupin was supposed to be Sirius' dearest friend, yet here he was, holding back Harry who's only desire was to avenge his godfather._

_"No Harry, you can't go after her!" Lupin was using all of his remaining strength to restrain Harry, but it was enough, as Bellatrix dashed for the nearest doorway, and sprinted out of sight. Had Dumbledore not been occupied with the remaining Death Eaters, he would have seen how Harry broke free of Remus' grasp and give chaise to the retreating woman. In fact, nobody seemed to have noticed, as Harry had gotten away just fine…_

_Next thing he knew, he was on the cold marble floor, being torn apart from the inside, as a cold, hollow voice hissed nearly incoherent words in his mind._

_"We could be great together, Harry…We are one, you and I…__ssstop fighting me!__... yesss,yessss. You have no choice, OPEN YOUR MIND!"_

_Harry resisted more than ever. This alien being inside of him was attempting to take over. It was a dreadful feeling, and all he wanted was to be rid of it. His mind was beginning to slip, and the voice was growing steadily stronger…but then, something changed inside of him. A warmth grew and grew until it made his ears ring, and a new voice entered into his continence. _

_"NO! I am nothing like you…I DO have a choice! I have something to be good for. Ron, Hermione…Sirius…They deserve better than you…"_

_And there came a moment of utter calmness, like a deep breath before the plunge. There was no thought, no pain, only quiet. But then, a whisper:_

_"Ah but, they are dead."_

_The agony of those words seemed to drown out the physical pain Harry was in, and as terrified as he was that this might have been the truth, a small part of him recognized a chance at hope, and took it._

_"No. You are wrong. I don't WANT to be like you. I have friends…something you never knew, and that is why you will not win this!"_

_Up to that point, the buzzing had been growing steadily stronger, drowning out the cold voice bit by bit, and now it seemed to have finally reached it's limit, for Harry suddenly felt as if he was being flung across some distance, and suddenly opened his eyes to Dumbledore's stricken face._

_The agony of the invasion had gone, but was suddenly replaced by something far worse. Sirius was dead._

Harry bolted upright in his bed, sweating and shaking as if he was very cold. Looking around, he didn't recognize where he was at first, but then he remembered the shaggy bedcovers, the blank walls and the single shabby wardrobe with one of it's doors slightly askew. Number Four Private Drive was not what he called home, but with his circumstances, he was required to stay there every summer for bit. That was the condition under which the protection charm protecting him from Voldemort worked.

Feeling wide awake now, Harry looked out of his window at the graying sky. Dawn was only a few minutes away, so he decided to just sit tight, and try not thinking about the dream he had just had. There was a creeping feeling that something was off colour, but Harry dismissed it as afterthoughts of what he had just lived through again, as it happened every night since two weeks ago, which was when it had really taken place.

Slowly, light replaced the shadows of his room, and when he heard sounds of his aunt in the kitchen downstairs, he finally decided that it was time to get dressed. On his way down, Harry caught a glimpse into Dudley's room, and saw his unusually pig like cousin eating something behind his bed. Now, Dudley was well aware that his diet did not allow any sweets, but Harry was almost certain that whatever it was that his cousin was harboring was most definitely NOT a stick of celery. A month ago, if he had the chance to get aunt Petunia to take something sweet from her large son, Harry would have done it, but ever since the death of his godfather, he had walked around as if not really there. Harry completely detached himself from the Dursleys, and they didn't seem to mind at all.

"Duddykins! Come down for breakfast dear, mummy made you a special treat this morning." Aunt Petunia's overly sugary voice floated up the stairs, and to Harry's great dismay, was promptly answered by what sounded sickingly like a fat boy running for cake. Surely enough, Dudley came crushing down the stairs, flinging Harry aside with one shove, and disappeared through the kitchen door before Harry even had the time to get his baring straight again. Wrestling had done wonders for his cousin, but this was ridiculous! Since when did Dudley move this quickly?

Forcefully ignoring all of this, Harry joined them at the table, and to his slight satisfaction, saw the entire family sitting around the table, with a bowl of fruit salad in the middle. If this was the big treat, then Dudley was not pleased. He looked positively stricken.

"Aww now, hunnycakes. This is good for you! I'm sure it tastes delicious...I spent the entire morning preparing it just for you!" She put an unnecessary emphasis on the word just, as if Harry had been thinking of eating all of the dieting food himself.

Once again, he tried to ignore the family he was stuck with for the time being, and instead decided to station himself next to the window, where he could watch the morning sky. Harry had not gotten any owls so far, and was eager to hear anything at all of the wizarding world.

"Well boy! What do you think you're doing, smudging those nice and clean windows with your dirty hands? Come away from there!" Uncle Vernon had never been what you might call a kind spirited fellow toward Harry, but ever since Moody and the others had warned him not to try anything funny with Harry, Uncle Vernon had been positively horrid to the boy. Always meaner than usual, and snapping at him for the most ordinary activities such as taking walks in the afternoons (which Harry was now banned from doing).

"I know what you are up to, don't think you can fool me! Your unnatural lot will not be showing up here anytime soon, that's for sure! They have probably forgotten all about you by now." He grinned. Then under his breath, he added, "As if you were worth remembering."

Aunt Petunia must have heard him, for she made a funny yelping sound, but quickly covered it up with a slight cough. On the other hand, ever since Moody's chat, Harry's aunt had been acting rather differently from her husband. She did not yell at Harry, nor say anything directly to him, as a matter of fact. She just went on about her day, as if he were not there, but whenever uncle Vernon snubbed Harry, it was clear that all she could think about was that afternoon at the train station…Standing in front of menacing wizards and odd-looking witches who all happened to be very interested in Harry's well being. She was clearly frightened of them, for she knew better than her husband what they were capable of.

This is how Harry's first three weeks of summer were going. Delightfully dreadful and dull. There was nothing to do, which gave him far too much time to think. One particularly muggy evening, Harry had found a nice cool shade in the garden, as now was his favorite place at number Four Private Drive, aside from his own room at night. Nobody bothered to come out here anymore, as it was mosquito season in full swing. The low buzzing of the insects was somewhat comforting in that lazy atmosphere. In fact, Harry was beginning to doze when he heard something. This was all too much like last time there was odd noises in the garden. He didn't need reminding of how much trouble little magical creatures could be, so without attempting to delude himself into a false sense of comfort, Harry quickly turned over and scanned the bushes for the source of the sound. And surely enough, it came again, but from behind him!

"Brilliant, it's Harry!" Now, he was not a jittery sort of fellow, but Harry had just heard his name whispered to him from who knows where, and the fact that a mad wizard was on the loose and craving for his blood, really did make him worry sometimes. So it is perfectly normal to say that he jumped three feet into the air. He didn't waste any time on running away, but promptly grabbed his wand from under his belt, and stabbed it at the bush under which he had so recently been reclining.

"Oh dear! If you were meaning to take out my eye with that, then KUDOS mate!" Fred was beaming down at Harry, but not at all from the direction where he had heard the voice before.

"Nope, that would be my ear, thank-you!" Grumbled George and not so gently crushed his way from the abused bush, rubbing his reddening ear. "That was a wonderful poke, but I don't quite fancy that sort of play, d'you know what I mean?"

Grinning, he lowered Harry's extended arm safely away from himself, and faced his brother.

"Shall we tell him now, or let him find out later? What do you think George old chap?"

"Nah, I don't think he's ready. I mean, with all the snake killing, sneaking around, making headlines and battling dark wizards his clearly ready for a nap. Aren't you Harry dear?" George adapted an uncanny Mrs. Weasley voice, gave Harry a great big smile, then turned around and marched right up to the front door, rang the bell, and waved merrily to the grinning Fred and dumbstruck Harry.

"W-what are you doing here? Where's Ron?" Harry had barely finished his sentence when the door swung open, and there stood uncle Vernon. As red as ever and quite possibly more angry than the time Arthur Weasley, Fred, George, and Ron's dad, had single handedly ruined his living room.

"_YOU!_ What on earth do you think you two are doing here? What NERVE!" Harry's uncle grabbed George by the front of the shirt and brought him closer to his face.

"After what you did to my Dudley, I should call the policemen on you! It is positively outrageous that your lot are allowed to parade around in broad daylight as if respectful people!"

George wriggled out if uncle Vernon's clutch without much effort, and calmly stated to him that they _were_ respectable. Then he added,

"…among the wizarding community, which is a whole lot more than _you _are." For a second, he seemed to be in doubt. Looking uncle Vernon up and down, Fred clapped his brother an the shoulder and said,

"Well, maybe not a whole _lot _more, but you get the point?" He winked at Harry, who couldn't help but snort at the pun. But his uncle didn't find it funny.

"YOU COME TO MY HOME AND ATTEMPT TO CHASTISE ME? HOW DARE YOU!" ..And he went for Fred's collar, but was too slow. Fred had ducked under his arm and went right past him in one fluid movement. George had already gotten in without Vernon's notice somehow.

"Get out! GET OUT OF MY HOME!" If he was red before, now uncle Vernon was pushing for a new shade of purple, yet inexperienced by his pasty complexion. Petunia must have heard her husband yelling, for she was now standing next to the staircase, staring at the scene that dad unfurled itself on her brand new oriental carpet. She quickly crossed over to stand by uncle Vernon, and shot a venomous look at Harry.

"What is the meaning of this? Why are _they_ here?"

"I don't know, but I'm sure glad they are!" Turning to the self satisfied looking twins, Harry then asked:

"Why _are_ you here? Has something happened? I didn't expect anything for at least another week…."

"Right. Well, we were told to come get you. You-know-who has been spotted in broad daylight. The Order is afraid that he's beginning to function much like he was before with killing and all…even muggles already!" Said Fred.

"Yeah. And it was a nasty piece of business too." Added George with almost an apologetic look at the Dursleys, who were looking at them with a mixture of disgust and alarm.

"Who was attacked? Anyone we know?" Harry was feeling a twinge of panic. Why did they need _him_ for this? Surely there were more qualified wizards they could contact. George suddenly became very interested him the pot of flowers on the desk off to the left, and completely ignored the question.

"George, who was attacked? If you were sent to get me, then there must be a reason for it…I must know!" Now George was starting to look a bit uncomfortable too. Then he took a step forward and gave a weak smile to Harry.

"There have been a couple of wizards and witches gone missing over the last month…well, one of them just happens to be Hagrid."

Harry couldn't believe his ears. Hagrid….His close friend of five years had been taken by his most deadly enemy.

"What?"

"Yeah, Voldemort might have nabbed Hagrid, but it's not for sure. I mean, what reason would he have, right?" George tried to give a small laugh, but it came out a bit wheezy, so that was cut short.

"Actually, he's right. He-who-must-not-be-named had no business with old Hagrid. That is, unless he had an untamed dragon on his hands or something of that sort. I personally believe that he's fine….Just went out for a walk and lost his way...or, or decided to take a holiday on short notice. Who knows, right? Dumbledore doesn't seem to be too worried either. You were summoned by Lupin, he's the one that thinks your connection with You-know-who might be useful."

All this time, aunt Petunia had been silently listening. Wide eyed and positively pale.

"So he's attacking re-regular people again?" Her squeak was barely audible, but something about her reaction to the news made Harry think twice. Again? What did she know about Lord Voldemort's attacks in the past?

Suddenly, both Fred and George seemed keen on her too.

"D'you know something about the last time?" Asked George seriously.

"Are you accusing my wife of having something to do with your freak world?" Vernon was beginning to come out of his quiet state of shock.

"Don't be silly my dear. Of course I don't. No, no. But Lilly did mention something…if I tell you, do you promise to do something in return for me?" This was an unexpected thing to hear from Petunia.

"…depends…hope it's nothing kinky now!" How on earth did Fred manage to find anything funny in a conversation like this? "Go on then. What was it last time?" His grin grew broad. Gossip was always based on truth.


	2. Chapter 2

sorry to keep you guys waiting. I accidentally deleted my new chapter, so I have to retype it…..oops! well, sit tight, and this next one is gonna be a shocker!


	3. Chapter 3

ALRIIIIIGHT! So now we know that something's up with Harry's aunt, and I have a feeling it's going to be juicyyyy!

Once again, I DO NOT own any of these characters…just in case you didn't get it the first time ;

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Vernon was positively beside himself with rage.

"WHAT!? Are you meaning to say that your good-for-nothing sister confided in you with something having to do with _them_?!" If you looked closely, you could see a distinct twitch in his left eye, and judging from where Petunia was sitting and by the look on her face, that particular twitch had not escaped her.

"Well dear, I didn't want to upset you! And it really wasn't a pressing matter over time, so I am convinced that I did the right thing." There was a tiny pause, but then she went on, now facing the three boys.

"See, the problem is, now that Voltimord, or whatever is back, whatever did happen last time might repeat itself! OH and it was ever so dreadful!" She broke off into little sobs. After a moment's deliberation, uncle Vernon seemed to make up his mind on forgiving her for not telling him whatever she was going on about before, and lightly patted her on the back saying, "There, there now. I'm sure whatever it is that went on last time will NOT happen again!" But he himself didn't look too convinced.

"Er…what exactly are we talking about?" Harry was ever so confused, and wanted to sort this out as quickly as possible, as it seemed to be quite distressing.

Looking up, his aunt said in a quiet voice, "My sister's involvement with the Dark man, is what I'm talking about! Your mother told me all about how it was. Our parents were nothing like her! They were considered to be quite the ordinary sort, and respectable too! But then, Lily went and did what she did! oh it was awful!" She sniffed.

Fred and George exchanged meaningful looks, and before anyone could even let out a startled squeal, the Dursleys were bound tightly in ropes. Of course, the twins hadn't used magic, since that could have gotten Harry in trouble. They seemed to have grown more careful with all the dark deeds among the wizard population, and the danger to everyone's families. That was definitely a welcome change, in these time at any rate. Harry did enjoy the carefree cheerfulness of the Weasley twins. It was something not easily come by in these fast approaching bitter times.

"Er…Harry, do you mind getting off my foot? I mean, I quite enjoy your close company, but my toes are completely against it." Said George.

"Oh, sorry! I didn't…realize…umm, so why are you tying and gagging the, again? I quite missed that part, I'm afraid. This seems a bit unnecessary. "

"Don't be silly! This is _precisely_ what must be done! Just watch the masters." Fred finished on a playful note. He strode over to the struggling couple and bent over Petunia's slight figure. "You were saying…?" He chimed happily. But instead of continuing her story, Harry's aunt just glared from under her brow at the boy, and refused to say anything, even though her gag had been removed.

"Alright, so this isn't working….lets move on, shall we?" Fred turned to George and said "Truthful Taffies please?" Holding out his hand, George gave him a fistful of some wormy looking thing. Quite disgusting looking, to be outright.

"Right, well, we didn't think she would tell us the entire story, so you see, the tying and the gagging was quite the right tactic…Oh, and the Taffies cause the person being interrogated to break out itching." he added at the look Harry was giving him. "We wouldn't want her to itch herself silly, now would we?" Without further shilly-shallying, he stuffed Truthful Taffies into her mouth, and stepped back a bit, with a certain look on his face Harry could not identify.

"Fred fancies older women…" George whispered to him, and quite suddenly became interested in mastering a tune by whistling it hastily and twittling his thumbs as Fred looked over his shoulder to see what the whispering was about. He was about to say something, but just then, Petunia let out a funny giggle, and said, "You know, it's quite funny how it worked out that Lily go the magic, and I did not. Funny, no? We had the same parents, after all." She was feverishly trying to reach her hand around to her chin, but the binds held quite well.

"Nice work Fred!"

"You too George!" Answered his twin, grinning from ear to ear. Harry was just about to come up with a witty remark himself, when a loud bang behind him sent all of his thoughts into a jumbled mess. Whipping out his wand, he quickly pointed to the direction of the racket for the second time this morning, only to find a grey old owl perched on the window sill. Fred was already striding toward the window, while Vernon seemed to be coming out of his short nap like state. With a low grumble he shook his great big, purple head, and glared up at his captors with quite the furious vehemence. Of course, Fred didn't take any of that into notice. He merely cracked the window open, and let poor old Errol into the spotless kitchen. Aunt Petunia gave a feeble attempt at annoyance, but soon was overcome by giggles as she tried to reach yet another itch. How dreadful.

"Oi, it's Errol mate!" He called over to George, who didn't actually need telling. Harry casually walked to where Fred was now unfastening the letter attached to the barn owl's leg, and tried to make out what it said over the taller boy's shoulder. When that didn't work, he cleared his throat, but instantly regretting it, for he reminded himself (and the twins who shot him disgusted looks) of that dreadful woman _Umbridge_.

"S-sorry." He stammered with a sheepish smile.

"Right. Well, I think you should take a look at this! It's quite the story dear old Ronald has cooked up this time!" While saying this, he handed the letter to Harry, and went back to staring at Petunia, to the great annoyance of her husband.

"You know, with a bit of that stuff mum uses for colour for her cheeks, your deer aunt would make quite the catch, you know what I mean?" Obviously, he didn't need to look at Harry to see the uncomfortable look he had on his face, and quickly looked away to start pretending like he had not said a word, let alone something that suggested the unthinkable to his younger friend. While Fred was occupied with observing the carpet with the best scrutiny he could muster, Harry was already skimming through the letter for the third time in disbelief. Ron had never been the one to make him worry, but this was something quite unnatural for his friend.

_**Harry, **_

_**I do hope no one who isn't supposed to see this does, so if you DO get it without an interception, burn it…or better yet, eat the letter, so it could not be put back together. Right, so that makes me feel slightly better. Well, actually, if someone other than one of the Order members opened this, they would burn their eyes. Isn't Hermione incredible? We have GOT to get her something special for Christmas this year...Anyways, on to business. Something has come up, as you can already tell. We were told not to send anything by owls, but we just HAD to tell you! Here goes. ( this part is written by Hermione, her handwriting is so much clearer…)**_

_Oh Harry! I do hope we are doing the right thing by telling you like this but it seems so wrong without you knowing! Well, you'll be thrilled to hear this, I'm sure, and after all the events of the past month, you Do need something to look forward to._

Hermione seemed to be talking herself into telling me what she was writing about. Her sensible side was altogether too hard to convince sometimes.

_How do I begin…?Well, I guess for starters, I've been doing some research on the basis of all magic. Turns out, it's all perfectly balanced. One spell is always weighed by something in contrast to it, but which is it's complete opposite. Do you see where I'm going with this? Harry, I do believe that Sirius might not be dead. Now don't get your hopes up too high, but Ginny and I have reason to think that there's a way around it all. So Fred and George should be around to get you in a couple of days. They are tied up with something at the moment. (and they REFUSE to tell anyone anything!) So in other words, start getting your things together. I know how you leave packing for the last minute. We don't have time for that, so get over here as soon as the twins get there! _

_Best of luck Harry, and please HURRY!_

_**Right, well, mate, you heard it all now, so get going, alright?**_

_**Cheers, Ron.**_

"Is this a joke?" Harry was fuming. It was one thing to try comforting him about the 'events of the past month' but an entirely different, and cruel thing to try to reverse the pain it has caused him. Harry had finally accepted the fact that his godfather was dead, and now here they were, trying to set him up for something that would surely be a letdown.

"Well, we did finish a bit early…" Started Fred.

"And it Was a complete success," Continued George.

"But BLIMEY Harry, no need to get your nikkers in a twist." Finished Fred.

"As far as we know, this COULD be the truth. We are not saying _it_ is, just that you can hope a bit now." George was definitely more emotional than usual. Must have been an effect of the recent trip.

"So you already know then?" Petunia unexpectedly chirped. Four sets of eyes were instantly on her, and before anyone could say anything, or even move as a matter of fact, something unthinkable happened…..the phone rang.

"Oh, way to ruin a completely curious moment!" George strode over to the light beige phone sitting on the polished counter top, and moodily sighed into the receiver,

"_Hello_? Muggle residence, private drive…four? Is it Harry?" He looked expectedly to him, but Harry was obviously entranced by the absolutely _magical_ moment, and did not seem to be effected by the mood breaking phone ring.

"It's Dudley. He wants a ride home from the Percevilles'." Aunt Petunia suddenly became completely serious, while uncle Vernon's eyes bulged more than ever.

"Tell him to stay there for dinner." Hissed Petunia, and George somewhat pointedly conveyed the message, and then quickly hung up.

"So, what was it you were saying, once more?" George joined the group situated around the slight woman.

"OH, the counter magic. Yes, Lily used to talk about it ever so much with that filthy little boy! She said everything could be undone or _re_done. How silly. She tried to make me like her once. Didn't work of course, but that boy still believed that it was their unperfected method, not the spell itself. Silly, as I said before." And that was the last thing she said that made any sense that evening, for the Truthful Taffies were wearing off, and according to the side effects that ailed the twin's testers, she would begin ranting about absolutely nothing for the next three hours.

None of this mattered to Harry though. He now knew that his parents must have been on to something, and that something could change _everything_.


	4. Chapter 4

Ok, so the new chappie is coming soon…I'm a fast typer/story maker upper. haha. so umm, send me some reviews or I won't post it! grr. I'm such a serious girl. No really, I want reviews wicked bad!

HARRY: blimey, that girl is serious, she is brandishing a drumstick as a _wand_…..I think she's trying to curse non reviewrs…?

NINOBABYYYY: What a load of bullocks! I am nooooot. (brandish, brandish)

HERMIONE: I think you are, twit!

NINOBABYYYY: oh aren't you just sweet? (CURSES Hermy) hehehehee.


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